<< LRL 7
from I Have Been In My Life
by Ian Davisson

I have been in my life
I have been an island
and crime waves
and not paid attention to

I'm sorry
the world
this criminal
we are
make ourselves into sometimes and

my father
crawled into
my island
told softly
his crimes
died that way

my mother
crawled into
her dormer window
died that way
body found
hotel room
full of crimes

it is all tree house dust

I have been in my life
an island
and followed no forewarning
all of those who touched me
with fingers that could not
have known I'm sorry

I say not reasonable
I'm sorry "my words"

I want to say you didn't need to crawl
so deep you know criminal
waves went crashing all over me

"the world"
it took everything
from me, and lay it in the wash
tore apart that little land

crash goes this lost tonguing
crash goes this night apologizing

I have been in my life and give me space on my island I say not reasonable
ways to conclude
I drove off a cliff one night         got stuck that way

and concluded something wrong with me
that night I am supposed, meant to stop
well that's not happening at least can't happen that way

in bed            I used to cut its corners

I have been in my life
those who cross islands
or returns to a land can't be familiar to anyone

and reached for what is buried
the land I left to return to
slipping from my mouth

an island I knew once where I could bury and can't cross any longer
too many graves to watch for and to apologize for

know what grows in you
though my guilt, it did
or laid in the boundlessness

my crimes are many am guilty no reason to reject and walk free of crimes

across the years of me       I say
or would say today            in which
perhaps       I might swim
out into deep blue something at dawn
but for             something
would crawl into my body      would become
this extra    body      I would bear it
to a point, but let, eventually
it pull me back, I would never speak of this
to other bodies
I would traverse the island as if I were only              one body
                  not two        one trapped

I am going to live through this night
out last morning a thousand candles
liars feel helpless helpless think of her
drove so fast


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